Passionless Fantasies
by Nakimochiku
Summary: These weren't things he wanted. They went against common sense. Hichi x Ichi, onesided, oneshot.


PASSIONLESS FANTASIES

_was randomly reading through 'terrible liar' and I strung these words together, and this is what popped into my head. I hope you enjoy, because it's very random, I'm very tired, and I'm craving gelato._

These secret dreams were not things he wanted. They were not things he longed for, or dropped into bed just to think of.

Those hands on his body were not thoughts he should be having. That tongue in his mouth was not something he wanted to experience. Those strong thighs straddling his hips were not things he dreamed of. But he fantasied about them none the less.

Cold hands that he wished would touch him, even against his common sense. Lips he wished would kiss him, even against his free will. He wondered why he craved so much. What it was about the monster inside of him that he wanted so badly.

There was nothing to love. Nothing to muse about. Ichigo just chalked it up to teenage hormones. Why they had to choose that _**thing**_ as their release, Ichigo did not know. But he'd have to live with it, until he found something better.

Maybe his other half was that something better. Maybe those hands and that tongue and that demented face were the only things that would inspire fear, pleasure, pain. Ever. Maybe he'd never get over him, maybe it was more than teenage hormones.

It went against common sense.

These fantasies were unneeded. If Ichigo could, he wouldn't drop into to bed at night just to touch himself, just to think of those things, to dream up those feelings. If ichigo could, he'd find someone else that made him react. Someone, anyone, it didn't matter. As long as it wasn't that creature.

Why was it him?! It could have been anyone but him. A guy, a girl, it didn't matter. But why him?!

Because that creature made him feel. Made him feel things other than power. Made him want to go over the edge, just because. Made him think of things other than fighting and saving people.

These fantasies were unwanted. They were evil. They were strong. No matter how hard Ichigo tried to think of something else, anything else, it just came back around to that creature. It came back to his rough bone white hands, wicked blue tongue and lopsided smile. It just came back to strong legs straddling his hips, to trained arms holding him down, to crooned insults and sarcastic compliments.

It seemed that Ichigo's brain revolved around that creature. It seemed like he would never get over him. It seemed like he was obsessed, like he was in love, like he desired that creature with every fibre of his body.

It went against common sense.

Every thought that included his monster was heated, was unwanted, was there to drive him crazy. It was like everything else was cold, until his brain touched upon his monster. Until his brain decided 'I want this'.

It was against his will. How that creature made him want. How that creature inspired fear and pleasure. Such unwanted, unneeded feelings. How that creature made him fall off the brink, just because. How the creature riled him up.

It drove him crazy. That he obsessed over his monster. That his monster became his release. That his monster made him feel so very hot. That his monster wasn't doing a god damn thing.

If Ichigo could, he'd ignore those day dreams he had, he'd find someone else to drive him off the brink, he'd stop that heat. These fantasies were strong, passionless, fruitless. These fantasies were his secrets, his desires, his truth.

Those hands he wished would touch him. Those lips he wished would kiss him. Those words that he so badly wanted to hear.

But in the end, it was nothing. Just a passionless fantasy.

OWARI!

_Nyahahaha! Sweet victory! Now that I'm finished I'm off to do my homework!_

_Ulquiorra: good, you remembered!_

_I'm not completely bottle cap (and yesh, I said bottle cap) RXR ONEGAI!_ _Btw, is coming up to her three year anniversary, and I wanted to know if you guys had anything special you think I should do for you? Write a lemon, put up a story of your fav couple? W.e it is, tell me, I want ideas!_


End file.
